Sundaze: racing corporate america

challenging the “work smart, not hard” trope

Lately, I found myself asking why I write these weekly substacks. While it started as a way to reconnect with myself - now, I’ve begun to share bits of my life and use this as a medium to store learnings. I’ve recently been on a quest to determine what I was made for. What value I can produce on this earth. For myself, for my loved ones, for my community.

One thing I’m proud of is my curiosity for exploration. I’ve probably explored as many roles within as many fields as I could in my 20s. I got a taste of big tech, humanitarian relief work, venture capital, education, healthcare, advertising, and writing. I worked in product management and sales, learned how to do due diligence on both early stage startups and funds, set up healthcare for Rohingya refugees with my partner and taught a grad school class. The goal had always been to explore many paths early and eventually pick one. Some of it was driven by the fear of missing out, some of it by pure interest. The formula was to learn things quickly and do just enough to move to the next milestone. It’s what also shapes my belief that anyone, given the access, time and opportunity, can learn anything. But in recent years, I felt more and more like I was a cog in the machine, mindlessly going through the motions. We cruise through degrees and jobs for the paycheck. Most of us invest in things we don’t understand and get a board seat at a non-profit to feel good, like we’re leaving an impact. It’s not a bad way to do life, but I just haven’t found meaning here.

I raced through milestones and while there is much to be grateful for, there is also a sentiment of “Ah, thought it would feel better here.” Humans, as Bezos once put it, are divinely discontent.

Nothing I’m speaking of is new. There have been books, articles and podcasts published about things like imposter syndrome or finding your way in life. This isn’t a revelation, no matter how many people before you have gone down the same path, yours is your own to forge. There isn’t meaning in mindless replication.

I may be harsh but it’s because I have done all of those things. I saw my parents struggle and I knew I didn’t have a backup option nor a safety net. I chose a low-effort major, scoured ratemyprofessor.com and took the easy As, scheduled concurrent classes to work around prereqs and graduated in three years. I thought I was so smart, that I successfully gamed the system and arrived at the real world sooner. I could start earning now. But truly, I learned very little in undergrad. So when I decided to go to grad school, I made sure I was genuinely learning about something that interested me. It made all the difference. While I initially questioned my choice of getting an MS vs an MBA like my fellow colleagues, I am appreciative now because it’s what shapes my worldview and sets my experience apart.

For the first time, I am learning not to chase someone else’s idea of success. And I feel lucky that I learned relatively early on that it’s extremely difficult to derive meaning from it. I did consider having a portfolio career but realized I wanna get really good at one thing. An older man on one of my travels had told me this but I guess I had to find out on my own: I don’t want to become a hoop-jumper. I want to slow down and really understand the world around me.

“The term “hoop-jumper” was coined by writer and former professor William Deresiewicz to describe the behavior of his students at Yale, who seemed more concerned about getting As and adding bullet points to their resumes than using their time at one of the world’s best universities to follow their curiosity.”

A lot can be learned from others’ experience of course, without blindly following in their path. I recently learned of the story of someone who transitioned from investment banking to venture capital in the early 2000s. He had a Wharton degree and an impressive professional track record but something just felt off. He told his boss he wanted to quit, that he wanted to try a different industry. His boss tried to get him to stay with a better offer and additional responsibilities. He thought about it for a couple days but ended up rejecting the promotion and the accompanying bonus. What surprised me was his rationale. He said he wasnt qualified to do what he was being asked. He wanted to learn, and so he took a title hit and a 50% paycut to go do something he was genuinely curious about. It was a high risk move. His wife was pregnant and they just put down a deposit on a house. Now he’s the Managing Director of a well-known VC.

In 2010, Princeton University Nobel Prize laureates Daniel Kahneman and Angus Deaton published a study that found that income increases people's well-being up to a point of around $75,000 per year, after which there is no further increase. Note, this research is dated and newer research has found this income metric has only increased with every passing year. But the idea remains, experienced well-being (people’s feelings of happiness during moments of life) plateaus after a certain amount.

Now I know that we don’t always have the luxury to take a paycut and take on a new role just to learn. In fact, it may not even feel like an option for some. I went to a FirstGen event last week where one of the panelists said

“What’s unique about us is that we are the in-between generation that is responsible for both our parents and children.”

That’s real. The reality is the next generation will likely not be responsible for their parents. And also that we, the current generation, would not be here without ours.

How do we balance our aspirations and care for our families?

I’m not sure. All I know is I’m investing more energy into myself this year. Lucky for me, I’m still exploring *smiles coyly* although it feels like I’m on the tail end of my exploration. I will end with a book rec, a colleague shared The Pathless Path by Paul Millerd and I’m only on Chapter 3, but so far, I can already tell it helps having an author, a friend or a community who gets it.

Warmly,

Aaisha

P.S. If you are in town on July 21st, I’m teaching a class at the Drawing Room on overcoming limiting beliefs. Link to early bird tickets below, excited to see you!

P.P.S. If you need some corporate america humor, watch this.