Sundaze: sabbatical diaries

a beginner’s guide to finding yourself

“Are you in sync with yourself?”

My friend asked me as we queued in line for breakfast by Place des Vosges. Trees lined the square and the sun kept us warm on a crisp fall morning. The pavilion was home to little art galleries and cafes. We were standing under an arched corridor made of old stone walls, something you come by a lot in Paris.

This was my second time in the city, two trips preceded by a pretentious “ugh”. I too was convinced the entire city was a marketing gimmick. And while I still don’t buy the “city of love” branding, I am fond of the long conversations over coffee and the general laissez-faire attitude towards life here. Once I learned about a Bangladeshi restaurant that’s been serving Parisians for 18+ years, I finally booked my ticket to come back.

I am staying with a dear friend in my favorite neighborhood - Montmarte. I told her to take me to all her favorite places. This included a Sunday market in the 11th arrondissement, a neighborhood coffee shop, a rainy walk by the Seine and this breakfast place -

A little patisserie frequented by both locals and tourists alike. Important to note, Carette, known for their hot chocolate, runs out of croissants by noon. The cafe is in Le Marais, my friend explained it to me in New York terms - it’s the West Village of Paris. I remembered a graffiti I once saw by West 4th - “rent t00,000 damn high”. I wondered if locals here felt the same.

So, am I in sync with myself? It was an interesting question, something I had been toying with in my late 20s. When I finally decided to take a break from full time work this year, my top priority was finding alignment in what I do with who I am. Getting in sync.

I heard my voice get heavy as I spoke - for a long time, I immersed myself in everything. I wanted to learn everything, I wanted to be everything. That’s what my 20’s were for. And I’m so glad I did. Until finally, my brained pulled out a quote from Life of Pi one day:

Believing in everything at once is the same thing as believing in nothing.

Having an interest in the world we live in is beautiful. We can have many of these interests. But not everything can be combobulated into meaning. At the beginning of the year, I realized I’ll have many seasons of life. I’ll probably have more interests than I do now. And they will shift and change. But what I could sync myself to are my values.

Be a good human, give back, uplift community.

If you are looking to find your alignment, start with this venn diagram. A friend, Sandy (who just launched his own fund!), shared the Ikigai exercise with me at the beginning of the year.

This may not be the first time you heard about Ikigai but consider this a sign for you to finally do the exercise, if you haven’t yet.

What is your ikigai?

Things to jot down: what I love doing, what I’m good at, what the world needs and what I can get paid for.

I’ll also say the nature of my work has evolved since first doing this exercise but when I look back at my notes, I realize my values have remained the same.

Weird to bare my heart to whoever will read this but the journey doesn’t end there. Then, comes the next part of the question - how do I get in sync with my values? Align my work with purpose?

I told my friend I’m making progress. I am becoming more and more in sync. While I’m not fully there yet and progress isn’t linear, I am using the down time in my sabbatical to start thinking about a five year plan.

I’m doing the mental and physical work, meeting wonderful humans, putting my hopes and dreams out there, and having deep faith that it will all work out. In shaa Allah.

My friend looked at me, her face serious and said, “You seem very centered, different from when I last saw you.” I didn’t think that would be the biggest compliment I would have ever received. But yes, I am finally feeling centered. And it’s nice feeling acknowledged for it.

Warmly,

Aaisha