Sundaze: when I grow up

the sweet escape patisserie

Last Sunday, I hosted my final writing workshop at the Drawing Room for the year. We created alter egos and gave these characters a story. One theme emerged: we were all seeking freedom from something. Freedom from roles we adopt in our families or society. Freedom from gender norms and expectations. Freedom from the cycle of working to retire. Freedom from routine or lack thereof.

Another theme emerged: emotional discomfort is rarely welcome. As I was guiding the workshop, I encouraged writers to introduce a problem. Some complied, some resisted, some said they did not want to disrupt the peace these characters felt. It did not feel right. Some rushed to a solution. It’s human nature to avoid sitting in uncomfortable feelings. I know I have for the longest time.

As you can probably guess, I’m a very open person. I had to consciously train myself in college to keep certain thoughts to myself. Without knowing why I shared so much of myself. I know now where in my childhood it stems from and have since revisited the balance of sharing vs keeping to myself. In the spirit of feeling things deeply and being uncomfortable, here’s how I’ve been seeking freedom in my own work.

I decided to take a sabbatical this year, taking a break from full-time work to understand how to truly fill my cup. In these months, I was forced to come face-to-face with a lot of things - feelings of loneliness, how to feel like I’m (doing) enough, tracking my finances, and most of all - who I want to be when I grow up.

What communities am I a part of?

Bangladeshi, American, Muslim, Woman. Tech. Investing. Writing. Arts. Economics. Government. International. Third culture kid. In my sabbatical, I re-examined how I spent my time outside of work. I was proud of two things that I did - I never let my identity be pigeon holed into my 9-5. And I didn’t go off on a long trip as soon as I could. Because I knew I wouldn’t be able to enjoy it for two reasons:

• I became self-reliant at a fairly early age. What that meant was - I needed to figure out my finances before anything else. I could not imagine asking for help, for better or for worse. As life would have it, I had already launched my consulting LLC earlier this year and doubled down on working with a client. I did not know then I’d be taking such a long break but hey, that’s just God’s divine timing. I also started teaching as adjunct at my alma mater, Columbia University. And hosting more playful writing workshops. Suddenly, there were other avenues to support myself.

• I felt like there was more to New York. I knew there were so many incredible and interesting people in the city I hadn’t met yet. On my recent trips, I started staying in hostels and became more open to the idea of meeting strangers. So why couldn’t I do this in my own home? I immersed myself in the local scene and came out of it with “a community of builders who were making their corners of the world a less lonely place.” -

  Rachel Saslaw
  , Storytell.

  Learn more about community building trends here:

  6 Community Building Trends From 6 Community Builders

I also started volunteering more frequently and creating genuine connections. Now that I have taken a few months to register and pace myself, I’m finally planning the rest of the year abroad.

What kind of community do I want to build?

When I started building a writing community, I knew I wasn’t interested in teaching the ABCs of writing. Anyone can teach you that. My specialty was getting an audience to feel safe in being vulnerable and engaging in self-reflection. I am building a community of writers who want to understand themselves better to inform their practice and role in the world. In the process of teaching and sharing my love for reflective writing, I am learning how to build an engaging community.

Who do I wanna be when I grow up?

My five year plan is to launch my own fund and invest in founders of all backgrounds. Amidst all the things that make up who I am, my professional background has always been in tech. I’ve worked in big tech and invested in all stages of companies. I am now building a community of LPs (capital partners for a venture fund) who are thoughtful about their impact in the world. LPs that want to match their investment thesis to their own values.

This year gave me an opportunity to redefine my self-worth based on values I’m striving towards: Be a good human, give back, uplift my community.

What are the values you hold close to your heart?

I am assigning a different type of meaning to my work and learning to balance how I invest in work as well as with family and loved ones. I am learning that while my priorities can shift, my values are the only constant.

In community,

Aaisha

P.S. When I think of a freeing experience, I think of a solo trip to the Dolomites. I was paragliding and soared over the tops of Nordic Spruce trees until they touched the back of my thigh.

I have jumped out of a plane before, but for some reason being able to touch the tip of a tall hundred year old tree beat any skydiving experience. It also reminded me of high school Aaisha reading about Bella exploring the Pacific Northwest for the first time.

Ok, that’s it for now!

Bye x